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6 Secrets to live a happier life.

New school term is starting. Worrying too much?



"Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don't let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself." Sonya Parker

Hearing this word probably makes you think of not being good enough or not reaching certain standards, As unpleasant as it is, rejection is part of life, and my life is no exception.

We'd face numerous obstacles especially in our 20s, making friends, fending for yourself, finances, academic workload, sorting out accommodation and dealing with landlords, being the 'stupid one', etc. However, 20s can be said as the brightest and happiest time in our lives as we still haven't enter the workforce, we don't need to deal with business traps, horrible bosses, deceptive colleagues and a lot more.

Do these make you feel happier and luckier now?  No? No problem. Let's reveal the secrets to make joy your companion today!  There are many articles on how to be happy but what I find extremely useful is accepting ourselves and do not compare with others. Here I summarized some of them and added my opinions.

1. Accept what you have Research shows that optimistic people have modest levels of expectation and aspirations - they want what they can get - while pessimistic people never seem to get what they want. They also know how to avoid disappointments and how to generate pleasant surprises. This is because they strive for realistic goals and are happy with their lot. I didn't mean to discourage you to aim high, but we have to do it step by step. Make sure the goal is realistic for you so you can see yourself reaching the goal. I will explain more about goal setting in the next few weeks. Stay tuned for it! :)

2. Be appreciative of other people Replace the habit of spotting the things that annoy you about the people with one where you make small or big positive observation about them. It could be their great senses of style when it comes to shoes, how they always make you laugh when you need it or simply that they are always on time. Be sure to tell them that.

3. Cut out or cut down on the most negative media influence in your life It could be the news on TV, the newspaper, some magazine or a certain type of music, type of books or blogs or websites. Replace that time and find new energy and inspiration from one or more positive sources like inspiring movies and books. Or uplifting music and people. For movies, I'd recommend: Babe, Billy Elliot, Spirited Away, Life of Pi or even some Christmas movies!

4. Don't compare Ambition is healthy and it makes you happy, but envy makes you unhappy. It's amazing how social media can instantly transform you from a "I'm normal and happy at the moment" person into a "I'm now turning into a crazy person" lunatic. When you see a friend of a friend of a friend post beach vacation pics from Miami in her bikini with her squad. She looks radiant, fit and stunning. All of a sudden, you start to envy her life, her body and her relationship. Hold it right there! Remember, it's about you, not them. It's usually that you're projecting the person has whatever it's you want, however, you never know what truly goes on in someone's life. The one you admire on social media could be miserable in her friendship, relationship with her family or insecure about her own body. Everyone you see is fighting their own battle, they got demons of their own. So be easy on them. And on you. 5. Appreciate yourself It's OK and something that a lot of people don't do enough. Spending 5 minutes tonight with thinking about or writing down in journal the things you can appreciate about yourself and how far your have come. Whether it's getting an A in coursework, made some new friends,  got treated by your partner or even got an extra hours of sleep because it was a day off today! Do this enough times, try two weeks, to change how you view yourself on a more permanent level.

6. 'Best Year of Your life'! University is commonly known to be the best year of our lives. It's practically acceptable to lie in everyday, go out four or five times a week and even pretty much become an alcoholic. One you graduate and start a job you'll almost certainly have to say goodbye to those 3pm starts and two bottles of wine on a Wednesday night. Make the most of university whilst we can.

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© 2020 by Shannon Chan